Deanna Marie Walker understands the struggles of living with an alcoholic, having endured a 20-year marriage shaped by addiction and emotional turmoil. Despite the challenges, she held onto hope that a better life was possible. After separating, she found herself hesitant to trust love again—until she met a kind, generous man who loved her unconditionally.

Her journey wasn’t easy. She had to unlearn survival patterns, embrace self-worth, and accept healthy love for the first time. Through this transformation, she not only rebuilt her life but also discovered a new purpose—helping other women navigate their own journeys of healing and empowerment.

Today, Deanna is passionate about showing others that love after a toxic relationship is possible and that true healing starts from within. She is living proof that no matter the past, a fulfilling, joyful future awaits those willing to embrace self-love and new possibilities.

In this inspiring episode of the Healing Through Love Podcast, we welcome Deanna Marie Walker, a survivor of a 20-year marriage to an alcoholic who found the courage to leave and rebuild her life. Deanna’s story is a testament to resilience, healing, and the transformative power of self-love.

After her marriage ended, Deanna struggled to trust again. When a loving and generous man entered her life, she found herself resisting kindness, convinced it must come with conditions. It wasn’t until she embarked on a journey of self-discovery and healing that she realized she was worthy of unconditional love—not just from someone else, but from herself. 

In this episode, Deanna shares:

✅ The emotional toll of living with an alcoholic and how to break free.

✅ The challenges of learning to trust and love again after trauma.

✅ How self-love and inner healing are key to embracing new relationships.

She also opens up about her mission to support other women who are in or have left toxic relationships with alcoholics. Through her own transformation, Deanna has become a guide for others seeking emotional healing, confidence, and a fresh start.

Whether you are recovering from a toxic relationship, questioning your self-worth, or wondering if love after abuse is possible, Deanna’s story will inspire and empower you to take that first step toward healing.

Key Points from the Interview: 

1. You can love again after a 20-year toxic marriage—healing takes time, but it’s possible. 

2. There is someone out there for you—but first, you must believe you deserve love. 

3. Healing starts from within—learning to love yourself is essential to embracing a better future.

Listen Now: Tune in for an uplifting conversation on breaking free, rebuilding confidence, and embracing healthy love. 💜✨

Introduction to the Healing Through Love Podcast

• Sharlene Lynch introduces the podcast, which focuses on hope, resilience, and transformation in ending domestic violence.
• The podcast features interviews with change-makers, survivors, advocates, and experts in the field of domestic and family violence.
• The show aims to provide powerful stories, practical tools, and inspiration for those on their healing journey or supporting others.

Introduction of Guest Deanna Marie

• Deanna Marie is introduced as the guest for this episode.
• They have personal experience living with an alcoholic for nearly two decades.
• Despite the challenges, Deanna held onto the belief that a better life was possible.
• After leaving their relationship with an alcoholic, Deanna eventually met and married another person.
• Their journey involved learning to accept unconditional love and themselves.

Deanna’s Experience with an Alcoholic Partner

• Deanna reflects on their 25-year experience, noting it sometimes feels like a lifetime ago but can also feel very recent when talking to clients.
• They describe the frustration of seeing the good in their alcoholic partner while witnessing their self-destructive behavior.
• Deanna emphasizes that their ex-husband was kind and funny, but struggled with addiction to numb past traumas.
• They highlight the pain of watching a loved one hurt themselves and their family without recognizing the damage caused.

Sharlene’s Personal Connection to Alcoholism

• Sharlene reveals their own history as an alcoholic for three decades.
• They mention the tragic outcome of their alcoholism, which resulted in the suicide of their young son.
• Sharlene expresses the difficulty in discussing the topic from an outsider’s perspective, given their personal experience.

Helping vs. Enabling in Relationships with Alcoholics

• Deanna explains the difference between helping and enabling an alcoholic partner.
• Helping involves gentle guidance and support, such as reminding them about meetings.
• Enabling is characterized by obsessing over the alcoholic’s recovery and putting all energy into their getting help.
• Deanna stresses that people will only change if they want to, and it’s crucial for partners to take care of themselves.

Manipulation in Alcoholic Relationships

• Sharlene reflects on their own manipulative behavior as an alcoholic, such as avoiding driving to drink more.
• They note that even their closest friends never confronted them about their manipulation.
• Deanna advises that setting clear boundaries is key to dealing with manipulation in relationships with alcoholics.
• They emphasize the importance of expressing what one wants from the relationship and following through with consequences.

Challenges of Staying in a Relationship with an Alcoholic

• Deanna acknowledges the difficulty of maintaining a relationship with an alcoholic partner.
• They stress the need for constant mindset work and releasing control over the alcoholic’s behavior.
• Deanna introduces the concept of ‘detaching with love,’ which involves stepping back from the relationship while still loving the person.
• They reference Mel Robbins’ ‘let them’ theory, emphasizing the importance of allowing people to be who they are.

Creating and Enforcing Boundaries

• Deanna mentions their guide on creating boundaries, available on their website DeannaMarieLifeCoaching.com.
• The guide provides a step-by-step process for approaching partners, expressing needs, and following through.
• They also discuss their ‘boundaries blueprint,’ which offers scripts for dealing with pushback when enforcing boundaries.
• Deanna emphasizes the importance of clear communication and documenting facts in relationships with alcoholics.

Healing Through Love Pamper Days

• Sharlene introduces the concept of Healing Through Love pamper days for survivors of family and domestic violence.
• These events offer free services from various practitioners, including hairdressers, makeup artists, and therapists.
• The pamper days are available worldwide, and interested participants can reach out to Healing Through Love for information.
• Therapists interested in volunteering their services for these events are encouraged to contact the organization.

Deanna’s Closing Advice

• Deanna emphasizes that it’s possible to improve one’s life regardless of current circumstances.
• They encourage taking small steps each day to create positive changes.
• Deanna stresses the importance of self-care, creating boundaries, and speaking one’s truth.
• Their goal is to help individuals in relationships with alcoholics find more joy and independence in their lives.
• Deanna concludes by reminding listeners not to waste time being miserable, as time is a limited resource.

• Introduction of guest Deanna Marie who lived with an alcoholic for nearly two decades.
• Discussion on the challenge of seeing good people struggle with alcohol addiction while hurting their families.
• Exploration of the difference between helping versus enabling alcoholics in recovery.
• Discussion on manipulation tactics used by alcoholics and how to deal with them.
• Explanation of setting and maintaining clear boundaries with alcoholic partners.
• Introduction of Deanna’s boundary-setting guide and blueprint available on DeannaMarieLifeCoaching.com.
• Final message about the possibility of improving life regardless of current circumstances through small daily changes.